Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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