theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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