I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
