im drinking this country out of the recession.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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