But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
