How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
