Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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