I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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