remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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