if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
