I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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