shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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