i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
