winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
