Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
