bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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