Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
