I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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