Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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