She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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