I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
