As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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