Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
