I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
