im having a threesome with these popsicles
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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