what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
