So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
