Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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