i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
