I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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