Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
