nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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