Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
