The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
