i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
