Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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