Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
