I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
