I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
