We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
