ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
