Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Come on in and take your pants off
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