This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
