I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh god it's open bar.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
