It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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