i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
