someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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