i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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