I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
