I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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