$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
